“Imagine someone surrounded by love. but they still can’t quite believe it,” came out of my wise husband’s heart this morning, referring to Meg and Bella’s dog, Robbie AKA Bubba-dog, who is still apprehensive of the affection of people, and has a tendency to shake when his family members leave.
We’ve all provided much attention, affection, and provision of his needs, and yet he still remains tethered to his life experiences prior to living with Meg and Bella, and us (for the past two and half months).
He makes strides though. We get glimpses of his ability to enjoy life when he plays outside, or especially with Molly, the excitable and energetic year and half old pup – whom he guards and protects.
But, despite those glimpses, he remains the scarred/scared dog that is unsure whether to trust his surroundings for his personal safety and security.
(And he laps up being bowl-fed on the couch – laugh, it’s true – so as not to trigger anxiety because Molly would be happy to eat her kibble and Robbie’s.)
Maybe it’s Robbie’s ‘normal’, it’s just who he is, and it’s okay. Maybe our triggers and apprehensions are just present, and will always be, to some degree.
We are a composition of the entirety of our life experiences. They have shaped our being-ness, who we are, and whether we turn left or right, and how we live.
We may shake in our souls – as the broken-yet-whole. Perhaps we show up with our cracks and scars and find renewed strength precisely because of them.
So, maybe having an eye on loving, not fixing, but being okay with folks showing up with their scars, shaking in their souls, and moving beyond tolerating to collaborating in life toward caring well in the places we live, move and have our being actually make us more suited to acting justly and loving mercy. Wounds will do that.
Robbie, with all his baggage, is the most cuddle-able – while also the most fiercely protective. There’s something in those words to consider: we need brokenness and we need scars to make us more human – something God seems to be familiar with.
Tuesday morning musings fueled by French roast and day old, half-burned (yet still desirable) zucchini muffins. Oh, and forgive the title nothing seemed to work. Feel free to suggest an alternative.